Saturday, August 16, 2014

Gays...


:-(

 ..."i just dropped my phone and broke down in silence..."
because in actual fact... it felt like my heart fell to the ground and shattered into pieces...

see.. a friend of mine was sending me pics on whatsapp of half naked guys out of the blue... and to quote what she specifically said was:- “here are some pics of gays”...  (oh i always get irritably offended when she uses the word “gays” like we are some sort of sub species of human nature.. sigh**)

anyways...as i was strolling down her messages... there was this pleasantly loving pic of 2 guys... (yes.. i use the word “G U Y S” not “G A Y S”...)... and at first glance i didn’t really notice who they were.. i was thinking probably just some random gay couple or so...

until after a closer inspection... i just dropped my phone and broke down in silence... because that guy (wearing dark blue sweater)  in the pic.. was actually one of my ex classmates back in high school...

he and i ... back in the day were always the ones targeted by (haters / homophobes / bullies) because we were slightly "different" and got called “gays” at one point or another... and out of my whole class.. only 3  guys that i know of (including myself) turned out to be indeed gay!.. or came out as gay shortly after graduation during  further studies overseas...

one of them (fatty) came out in a very fabulously over the top fashion on facebook (now still living happily ever after with his colonel sanders KFC look-alike - rice queen - sugar daddy in Australia) and the other gay classmate (dark blue sweater guy, as shown in the picture)  never really made any official public announcement  but pics of him and his guy "friend" on facebook said more than enough for everyone to match the dotted lines...

i’m not quite sure where he is at... but im assuming somewhere in Australia as well... and as i zoomed in on his gorgeous better half... i fell even more deeper into my emotional masochistic sadness... and my mind started racing with all these stupid thoughts of..

“ooo?  just imagine all the amazing love making they must have?”

“oooo? look at his manly stubble... he must have one hell  of a treasure trail underneath  that hoodie of his...”

“oooo? just imagine how hairy his pits must be?”

“00000! just imagine the ecstasy of ##$%$%^^.....” (i think i should stop typing now before i get carried away..)

but in the end... my last thought of wonderment was...

“sigh.... when is it ever gonna be my time...?” my time to live? ... my time to love?... my time to experience all the living dreams or reality life has to offer?

i have dreams of finding a man who would treat me like the very fragile princess that i am ... a man who can accept all my idiosyncrasies and devilish desires... a man who could love me unconditionally for me... ALL OF ME...

and i know that dream is still there somewhere...

but it’s just so hard to believe in it right now... 

:-(

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Snap 2.0...


this father of 2 has a sexy tiger claw tattoo on his right pec muscle....

but unfortunately i couldn't get the snap from the front... dAMN!!!! 

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

For Real...



i love you like a lover...
i love you like a friend...
i love you like no other...
it's so hard to comprehend...

love is something amazing...
and i'm blessed that i can feel...
a love that is so special...
a love that is for real...


~ by N!LoC ~


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